Thursday, December 13, 2012

A Semester Gone: Reflections of a Spiritually Disciplined (Sometimes) College Student


Hello, everyone!  As you can see by the title, this semester is coming to a close.  I can’t believe how fast it has gone.  It seems like just a couple of days ago when I was learning about the discipline of worship and thinking about how to participate fully!  This final blog post will be reflection about six different questions that will be included in the blog.  Thank you to those that have continued to read this throughout the entire semester (Thanks, Mom! - haha).  I hope that you benefited in some way and are challenged and encouraged to keep pressing forward in pursuing Christian spirituality.

1.  Foster says spiritual disciplines are not designed to be ends in themselves, but are intended to facilitate a person’s journey into greater freedom in living a Christ-like life.  How did your practice of the disciplines this semester (either some in particular or all together) help you grow in your faith in and obedience to God?
            This class on spiritual formation came at the exact right time.  About half-way through this semester, I hit a metaphorical wall, both mentally and spiritually.  This happened about the time that I was practicing the discipline of confession.  During this week stretch, it was all I could do to hold myself together without having an emotional breakdown.  I felt like God was far from me; looking back at it now, I feel like it was one of those instances that Foster calls “the dark night of the soul.”  It felt like I was trapped in a place where doubts and fears about Christianity and the future constantly tugged at my attention, making me highly emotional and even slightly bitter against God.  During that time, as I mentioned before, we were beginning to practice the discipline of confession.  It was then that I slowly realized that I had not been confessing the things that I was worried about to anyone but myself.  I had even been keeping these fears and bitter feelings from God, determined to deal with them on my own.  Isn’t it so funny how God can just use these instances to completely break you down and then build you back up again?  After actually confessing these worries and fears to God, I slowly began to feel like myself again, still broken, but functioning in a way that made me put my trust in Him.
            Generally, the practice of the disciplines this semester have really helped me grow in my faith and obedience to God.  As I go through my day, different instances help me remember something that I learned from practicing these disciplines, making me reflect and also continue to ponder new and different ways to continue to practice these disciplines.  Reading back through all of the posts prior to this one, made me see a pattern throughout each discipline that I was practicing.  After setting goals for myself, they would usually get thrown out the window and God would show me something that week that I didn’t really expect to experience.  God is full of surprises, giving me substance for each day which makes me dependent upon Him, even when I so want to rely on just myself.  These disciplines have taught me to look at myself critically when obeying God, causing me to examine my motives.
            All in all, these disciplines have put me into better communion with the Creator of the heavens and the earth.  I am more aware of Him and the world around me, willing to stop and look around before diving into the next task at hand. 

2.  What were some of the distractions or hindrances that kept you from practicing, or practicing to the fullest, the assigned disciplines this semester?  What does this show you about yourself?  How do you plan to address this area (or these areas) of struggle?
            As alluded to in the above question, I am somewhat of a control freak (that is why submission, even to God, is something that is a little bit difficult for me).  In all of the disciplines, I ran into many distractions that all had equal priority.  While practicing these disciplines, it seems like the workload for this semester tripled.  Every time a new discipline was assigned, there was always so much work for school that I could do.  This gave me an excuse to put the practice of the discipline off until later in the week.  True, I did think about the discipline a lot and even wanted to engage in the practices of the disciplines, but I also felt the tug of assignments and life in general, forcing me to choose one over the other.  I’m ashamed to admit that, usually, small assignments took precedence over practicing the spiritual discipline.
            When looking at the preceding paragraph, it makes me so thankful for the grace of God.  What a stubborn and, frankly, annoying human being I must be to Him.  In neglecting spending time to work on the formation of my spirituality, I chose meaningless acts that I don’t even remember right now.  Instead, I do remember with fondness actually thinking and practicing all of the disciplines this semester.  This shows me that my intentions are always good.  However, things usually fall by the wayside in my frantic struggle to get everything done well and on time.  What can I do about this?  Why do I convince myself that the small intricacies of my life are somehow more important than God?
            As I think about a possible plan of action to address this area of personal struggle in my life, I realize that a huge leap has already been made.  I think that half of the battle when you are struggling with something is to admit it to yourself and then admitting it to God.  A large part of this has been completed slowly throughout the semester.  However, there is still far to go from here.  As of right now, I don’t have a definitive plan.  I think it will involve me trying to loosen up a little bit and not be so serious about everything.  It will involve continuing to study God’s Word and being willing to let Him take over my life instead of fighting Him for control. 
  
3.  Identify three disciplines you think mesh together well and explain how you see them interrelating.  How would you plan to practice them together?
            Three disciplines that mesh really well together in my mind are simplicity, solitude, and submission.  Apart from their alliteration, which makes them a perfect match as well, they all begin by being an inward reality.  Simplicity is the act of reorienting our lives around God and being content.  This contentment will spring forth into an outward lifestyle, filled with the contentment and joy of the present without longing for more or the next desire.  Solitude has the purpose of setting aside time, not to just be alone, but to be alone with God in order to listen to Him and meditate on His word.  Submission is the act of complying to God’s will.  After doing that, submission will be prevalent in our outward lives as well. 
            These three disciplines are interrelated because, when practicing the disciplines of solitude and simplicity, submission will be evident in one’s life.  I would practice these three disciplines together by taking time to submit to God throughout my day.  This could include the rhythm of work and prayer.  By submitting myself to God and not to the trials of the day, I will be able to live in an inward simplicity, not being crippled by anxiety or pressures.  By being connected to God throughout the day after submitting and being in solitude, this will carry over into my actions with others, giving me a worldview that is broader. 

4.  Identify one discipline you would urge a new believer to practice.  How would you instruct them in the discipline?  Why do you think that discipline is especially well-suited to the formation of a new believer?
            If I had to choose one discipline that I would strongly urge a new believer to practice, I would ask this new believer to consider the power of the spiritual discipline of prayer.  Prayer is the gateway to all of the other spiritual disciplines that we have encountered this semester.  If any believer wants to live a Christian life, prayer is a necessity.  The discipline of prayer is also good for a new believer because it is a discipline that can be learned and practiced.  It allows us to come at whatever “level of spirituality” that we are at, and gives us a sense of confidence, hope, and assurance that God is listening and present in our lives.
            In order to instruct this new believer in prayer, I would begin by saying that God uses prayer to transform us.  I would go on to say that it is not something that is scary; instead, it invites us into a conversation with God.  To practice the spiritual discipline of prayer, I would invite this new believer to write down their prayers in a prayer journal or something like that.  I would also say that reading through the Bible, especially the Psalms, are a wonderful way to pray the words of the saints who have gone before.  Lastly, I would remind them that prayer is a conversation between ourselves and God.

5.  Spiritual disciplines fortify believers against some of the universal struggles and weaknesses all Christians have battled against.  Identify and describe an area of weakness you observe in the Kuyper College student population.  What spiritual discipline, if corporately practiced, would target this area of weakness and why?
            One of Kuyper Collage’s strengths that is broadcasted by almost every student, staff member, and faculty member is the idea of community.  We are a very close-knit group that is charitable towards people who are deemed as “different” (ourselves included).  However, on this campus I see the danger of this community.  Sometimes it feels like this community is centered more around academics – which, don’t get me wrong, is important – rather than God.  Also, we get so involved in each other’s lives that we don’t take time to be in community with God.  The spiritual discipline that should be corporately practiced that would target this area of weakness would be solitude.  It would be so nice to have a time where all of us go off by ourselves to connect with God.  In this way, our community won’t be filled with pointless squabbles or fruitless conversations but filled with the salt of the earth.  By getting away to commune with God and keeping this spirit of solitude inside, we will better be able to build each other up and act as God has commanded His people to act. 

6.  What advice would you give to the next class of spiritual formation students at Kuyper Collage who will be practicing these disciplines?
            For those of you who are going to be taking this class next semester, look out!  God is going to change you as you practice these disciplines and meditate on His Word.  It is important to know that God will work through you, breaking down your defenses and slowly building you back up into the man or woman of God that He wants you to be.  As for advice, I would say to try not to get caught up in the actual discipline itself, but be transformed by the results that the discipline offers.  Every discipline has its specific purpose and freedom.  Try to find this freedom.  With that freedom, there will be joy.  Also, be as honest as possible in the blogs (if you have to blog about your experience).  While reflecting and writing my blogs, I was surprised at just how much I learned over the past week, even if it didn’t seem like God was teaching me anything while actually practicing the discipline. 

          All in all, God has been good this semester.  I pray to continue to live a life full of spiritual discipline and knowledge of God.  It is only then that I will truly be free to follow God.  Freedom begets freedom.  Thank you, friends, for the wonderful journey.  It has been spiffy.

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