Am I Alone?

             This week’s discipline focused on many aspects of solitude that I had never considered before.  Prior to reading the chapter on solitude by Richard Foster, I honestly thought that this would probably be the easiest discipline for me to follow and practice for a week.  In my mind, because I am a mega-introvert, I was almost excited to be able to spend more time alone and not have to really justify why I was alone all of the time.  In short, I thought that I was going to be the most successful at this discipline out of the whole host of other disciplines that I have practiced throughout this semester.  Golly gee, was I incorrect!

            Instead of solitude being about a place and lack of people, I learned that “solitude is more of a state of mind and heart” that “can be maintained at all times” (96).  The purpose of the discipline of solitude is not, to my chagrin, to escape from people and to have time to oneself.  Rather, it is a state of connection with God.  We are meant to withdraw in order to listen to God and the Truth that He puts into our hearts.  The rejuvenation that occurs after seeking solace in the solitude of God comes from spending time with him, instead of taking advantage of little moments to focus on rejuvenating yourself by trivial things, such as wasting time on the internet or turning off your brain by listening to music.  What I didn’t understand at first is that solitude is NOT about myself.  It is about God!

            To practice the discipline of solitude this week, I wanted to be very conscious of God, both when I was alone in my self-imposed solitary confinement and also while I was surrounded by people.  After reflecting back upon this week, I have to admit that I really didn’t throw everything I had into this discipline.  It was something that I would think about off and on, but surprisingly, I really failed at giving the time that I set aside for myself to God.  I actually did much better when I was around people by connecting with God and turning my attention to Him instead of to myself.  This probably is because I was at home, surrounded with people who I absolutely adore and who completely accept me for who I am as a person.

            When I am at home, it is not as easy for me to slink off to my room and get lost in a book.  I am drawn to my family, telling funny stories and just sitting with them.  It was in these moments that I connected with God and He showed me all of the blessings that He has bestowed upon me.  Solitude was also found in the very busy mall on Black Friday (I am NOT a fan of shopping – especially in a busy mall filled to the brim with people).  Usually, I will not really pay attention to the people around me, instead choosing to just shut down and follow my mother from store to store, waiting for the moment when we are back in the car and listening to Christmas Carols on the way home.  However, this time, I really paid attention to the people who were around me as I walked from store to store.  God really had to give me the strength to stay present and find a solitude that can only come from Him in a busy mall.

            Although I feel like I didn’t put as much effort as I should have into this week’s discipline, I found myself thinking about solitude and mulling it over a lot.  Maybe this week was just me being able to get a new, healthier perspective on solitude so that I can practice this discipline and understand it more.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone; I pray that you all have much for which to be thankful.  I know that I sure do!  Blessings.

Simplicity isn’t Simple

           What does it mean to live in simplicity?  According to Foster, simplicity is not only about the outward lifestyle of wearing clothes that are simple, rejecting items that could become addicting, and speaking truths all the time.  Instead, it is “an inward reality that results in an outward life-style” (79).  This means that simplicity can be looked at as a way of life all of the time.  It means constantly checking oneself to see how much a person is influenced by the values and trends of culture.  However, simplicity is NOT meant to be a map to the jolly fun times of asceticism.  Quite the opposite.  By practicing simplicity, we are meant to seek first the kingdom of God (inward practice) which will bring about the outward expressions mentioned above.

            For this week, my goal was to practice the inward reality of simplicity.  I wanted to rid myself of the anxiety that will cripple the inward life of simplicity.  In order to do this, I wanted to be convicted that my life is a gift by thinking of things that I am thankful for, know that God cares for and sustains me in every area of my life and the lives of others, and have a willingness to give of myself to others.  At first, I thought that this would be relatively easy.  However, as the days started to melt away because of the busyness of life, I would realize at different times that I didn’t really think that I was practicing the discipline of simplicity well.  You see, I am a person that enjoys having strict guidelines to follow, almost a checklist of sorts.  Instead, this week was more of a reflection upon my life and the active meditation upon my day to day life.  Without setting strict guidelines for myself, the discipline of simplicity was somewhat lost in the days that I attempted to practice it.

              Looking back at the past days, I have to realize that I didn’t totally fail in the area of practicing inward simplicity.  For example, at a Christmas party that I attended – I know, I know…WAY too early for those shindigs – I was overwhelmed with thankfulness at the family that God has provided for me.  God showed me His love and care in those moments by giving me a bigger perspective and glimpse into what community really looks like.  Another example is the reminder that I got every time I walked out my door.  On the other side of the hall, my dorm neighbors have a white board on their door that currently asks the question, “So what has God done for you today?”  People have been writing their responses to this question and these answers have been wonderful reminders to know that everything that I have is a gift.

            So far, this has been probably the most difficult disciplines for me to practice.  However, I did enjoy taking random times throughout my day by just thinking about how much God has blessed me and sustained me even in circumstances that I would not consider a joy.  I really learned a lot about how I continue to put things that are less important before God but, at the same time, how God continues to pursue me.  As it turns out, simplicity is not so simple after all!

Transformational Study

             When I first read the chapter on Study for this week’s discipline, I really felt like it was going to be something that was easy.  I mean, I am a college student.  Studying is a discipline that I have perfected throughout my fifteen years (oh. my. goodness.  I have been in school for FIFTEEN YEARS?!?) of education.  It is something that comes naturally to me and something that I actually enjoy doing and can find my identity in.  The concept of this discipline was comfortable.  I honestly didn’t really expect to get anything out of taking more time to study, either God’s word or the general revelation that He provides in the canvas of creation.

            The discipline of study is generally defined as really paying attention to God’s world.  This careful attention and analysis should cause our minds and thought patterns to form around what is dwelt upon the most.  Study, when done properly, involves five distinct things:  repetition, concentration, comprehension, reflection, and humility.  As I read this, it sounded very stiff and not freeing to bring me into further relationship with Christ.  However, after thinking about this discipline of study more, I realized that God doesn’t want us to just accept everything with blind faith.  As human beings, we are called and made to analyze and question and reflect upon the different aspects of this world.  This in itself can be an act of worship.

            In order to participate in the discipline of study, I felt the need to pick a particular passage of scripture that can sometimes be overlooked.  Throughout the day, I wanted to be able to quietly sit and reflect on this passage, really taking the time to concentrate on the words and reflect.  I chose Ephesians 4:1-16 –

            “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling that you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  There is one body and one Spirit – just as you were called to one hope when you were called – one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.  But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.  This is why it says:  ‘When he ascended on high, he led the captives in his train and gave gifts to men.’  (What does ‘he ascended’ mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions?  He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.)  It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.  Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming.  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.  From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”

            Overall, I feel like this discipline came at just the right time.  Although I did not read this passage as much as I would have liked, the times I did read during the day were filled with peace and hope.  Throughout the various times of reading these verses in Ephesians, I would notice something completely new about the passage that I had never really seen before.  Even as I just typed the passage out a few seconds ago, I noticed new things that struck me.  Isn’t it wonderful how God’s Word continues to prick us and leave impressions? 

            This passage has really made me think over the past couple of days about the unity of the Church and how we all need to find our place in it.  As the semester continues to race by, I am becoming more and more aware of how I really have no plans for my future.  When praying over this fact, I found myself drawn to the words of this Scripture and how it speaks about Christ being sovereign over all and giving different gifts to different people in order to foster unity in the Church.  It gave me huge comfort that, no matter what happens, God is Lord overall and in control.  This convicting thought then spills over into interactions with other people, hopefully creating a community that honors God above all else.